I saw this sign on the Metro and have come to the conclusion that it’s a classic example of bad writing.

“There may be camera surveillance on all Metro trains…” is about as vague as it gets. Either there is camera surveillance on all trains or there isn’t. Without being able to understand the Danish version, I’m guessing that the issue is all. There may be camera surveillance on some Metro trains… makes sense.

But the problem could also be with the modal verb may. In which case, the sentence could read: There is camera surveillance on all Metro trains… .

This is an example of good intentions going to waste because of poor execution. While us non-Danish speakers appreciate the effort put in to giving us information in English, the effort is pointless if the English version isn’t checked for accuracy (and sense).

And it’s a lesson for all writers, whether writing in English or any other language. The written word is fixed and the reader rarely has a chance to double-check the meaning. So you have to be 100% clear in what you write…and the reader must be left in no doubt. For me, this is the number 1 golden rule and it is more important than style, tone of voice or conciseness. Because if the reader doesn’t understand, you’ve failed in your main goal.

So what’s the best way to ensure your writing is clear? Ask someone else to read it - because although it may make sense you, it may not be clear to the reader.

But back to the Metro. There is one more possibility. It’s possible that the Metro authorities don’t know if there is camera surveillance on all trains or not - in which case, they’d be better off not writing anything.

Last week, our Party Planning Committee dished out a real gem of a Christmas party. And it all started with a tango lesson that taught us copy people a lot more than fancy footwork.

It taught us the importance of knowing how to communicate without words.

For the last dance, we had to move in complete silence. It wasn’t easy, but our moves (at least mine) improved dramatically. And it was even better with eyes closed. Imagine what a challenge that was for people whose jobs depend on language!

Our very cool instructor, Linus Aabye, made fun of us a bit to get us going. “You walk around and say ‘Did you feel that?’ or ‘Was that OK for you?’ and apologizing for every wrong step. But on the dance floor, in a competition, you can’t do that. If you trip up, you have to keep going, keep reading your partner’s signals.”

Admittedly, it was hard and a bit odd to suddenly be so close to our colleagues - yet not be allowed to say a word. I felt a bit rude, even - but then just gave into it and realized that the tango world is on to something with this silence. At work and at home, we constantly hear how important it is to use words to communicate. Not physical language - words. But maybe we’ve gone a bit extreme with all that talking. Maybe some things are best expressed without our voices.

Be that as it may, I’ve got to admit: in the Sing Star karaoke competition that followed the tango, it was our voices that ruled. What we had to give up in silent dance we gained right back with the mics in our hands.

Merriam-Webster has just announced its word of the year. The word is w00t. I guess this reflects the huge influence the Internet is having on our use of language, a tendency that we often discuss on this blog.

Check out the announcement and see the top 10 words.

There’s something funny about the Danish lunch break. It doesn’t really exist. It’s 30 minutes of quick eating, a short chat and then straight back to work. Is this a good idea?

As an Englishman, I grew up in world where lunch is long and leisurely. In the UK, a one-hour lunch is considered the minumum and two hours is not unheard of. People use their lunch breaks to rest, read the newspaper or do some stuff in town. I remember my teenage years working on building sites where the one-hour lunch was the most wonderful time of day. Starving after a morning’s work, I’d eat slowly and then still have 25 minutes to find a quiet spot in the shade for a quick nap. Wonderful.

In Denmark, you barely have time to swallow before it’s back to work - which at first glance seems pretty paltry. But, there’s a huge upside to this. In the UK, it’s not unusual to start work at 9am and not get home until well past 6pm. Sure, you can enjoy a long lunch, but isn’t that time better spent at home with your family? With the short Danish lunch break, people often leave work around 4 pm - and have a full evening ahead of them.

There’s also the beauty of the Danish canteen. My brother was on a visit recently and I told him the story of a Danish friend of mine who took the quality of the canteen into consideration when taking a job. My brother was (a) shocked that this was important to him and (b) surprised that so many work places have a canteen. I guess if you only have 30 minutes to eat, you don’t have time to pop out to the sandwich shop - so having food provided is essential.

Well, I’m not sure if it’s the absolute worst. But the English lyrics have got to come close! It starts off with a line that means absolutely nothing:

“I was not looking for arty-farty love”

What’s that all about? There are lots of types of love, but arty-farty is not one I’ve heard of.

This is followed by one bad cliche followed by another - topped off by the brilliantly conceived:

“The wuthering heights,
And the stormy nights”

(Poor Emily Brontë - and Kate Bush, for that matter.)

The song, called ‘10,000 Nights of Thunder’, is by the Danish band Alphabeat.  It still gets so much air time in Denmark, which is pretty sad, don’t you think? But good on for them for making such a success out of a load of drivel. On the bright side, the music is fun, jolly and upbeat, which is maybe meant to cheer up radio listeners amid these dark, grey months.

What are your all-time worst song lyrics?

Watching my ten-year-old son grow up is an amazing thing in itself - and is a source of constant fun, surprises and challenges. A topic of intense discussion in our house over the last year or more has been his fascination with his mobile phone. If you’re a parent, I bet you know what I mean!

Kids’ mobile skills are pretty impressive, to say the least. For one thing, their finger and thumb dexterity is streets ahead of mine!

Over the last few months, I’ve realized that this fascination with mobiles - and for that matter, other communications technologies - has significant benefits to multi-lingual families such as ours. That is, it’s a perfect opportunity for our kids to learn how to read and write in English! Brilliant.

I guess it’s stating the obvious. But, in my situation, where my son is not in the slightest challenged by the rudimentary English taught at Danish ‘folkeskole’ - here’s an opportunity to expose him to real and proper English. I take every opportunity to chat online, write texts and write emails. His English reading is improving, as is his comprehension and vocabulary. And we’re connecting in my own language, which is highly satisfying for me.

Have you noticed a difference in your kids’ communications skills as a result of mobiles, chats, emails and the like?

I’ve stopped being surprised by how well Danes speak English. I’ve even stopped comparing them to my former Russian countrymen, who can hardly speak any. (It’s so bad, it was apparently impossible to cast a real Russian in the new mafia flick Eastern Promises. It required speaking both Russian (fluently) and English (with an accent) - and such an actor was nowhere to be found.)

But I digress. What DOES surprise me is that, according to Dansk Industri, every fourth Danish company has English as its operating language. That is truly astounding - and impressive. I get the feeling that the world has much to learn from Denmark, which manages to gracefully blend its strong traditions (we can especially see them now, at Christmas time) with such openness to foreign things. The philosophy seems to be: If it’s good for Denmark in general, then let’s do it - without following any archaic, arbitrary rules.

How the Danes feel about this trend is another question. What do YOU think?

Sometimes the simplest ideas are just the best. And here is a great one. Visit FreeRice.com and you can practice your English vocabulary and learn new words.

And at the same time, you generate grains of rice to food programmes through the United Nations. The connection between English vocab and rice isn’t clear to me - but it doesn’t matter because the site is addictive and for a good cause.

It’s simple, you are given a word and have to choose the correct synonym from four options. And the site adjusts to your abilities, so the more you get right, the harder it gets. And each time you get an answer right, the site donates 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Programme.

The concept is simple, too. The rice comes from sponsors who advertise on the site.

Go and try it! If you already know the answer, someone gets some rice. If you don’t know the answer, you learn a new word. It’s win-win.

About a week ago, I had BBC TV on in the background as I was getting ready for work. From my bedroom, I heard a woman’s concerned, energetic voice say something like, ”In Germany, things aren’t looking too good – and it’s not clear what will happen over the next few days.”

The phrase has stuck with me. Not because it’s particularly clever or exciting, but because it reminded me of something I typically encounter when I try to understand Danish. Not speak it, because when I (try to) speak it, I generally know what I’m talking about. But understand it, because then, I often have no idea what we’re talking about – which leads to some pretty entertaining misinterpretations.

When you’re learning a new language and have a half-baked vocabulary, context is everything. If I know the discussion is about cars, I can follow. If not, I can just as well think that ”speed”, ”comfort” and ”prices” are still referring to the previous conversation about Søren’s cruise on the Rhine. And it can be a good 5-10 minutes before I find out that I’m on the entirely wrong track.

So what was the BBC anchor talking about? The weather? Or a national strike? It would take a bit more time in front of the TV to figure it out – and I just didn’t have that time.

The same goes for all communication. I often encounter brochures and web texts that go on and on about saving you time and money, or speeding up operations, or enhancing employee morale – you get the picture. This goes on for paragraphs. And I sit there, waiting for the punchline: ”We make remote-controlled robots” or ”We specialize in business to business advertising.”

Sometimes, companies forget the importance of context. They know who they are, so they assume others do too. But without an anchor point, you just can’t expect audiences to guess your message correctly – so it’s best to just set them straight right from the start with something like, “And now, back to Germany, where the strikers don’t seem to be stopping any time soon…”

Have you ever let your imagination run in the wrong direction because of a lack of context? I’d love to hear about it.