No Apples in Denmark
Blue Angel. Fuchsia. Ireland. Apple. Pilot Inspektor. Poppy Honey. Moxie CrimeFighter. Princess.
What’s your guess? PlayStation game characters? FBI operation code names?
Nice try, but no. They’re a selection of bizarre celebrity baby names. In their quest for originality and headline space, celebrities seem to be putting their kids’ future sanity on the line. But it’s not just A-listers who are picking words off cerial boxes and Kabbalah literature and putting them on birth certificates. Ordinary folks are doing it too. There’s Ish. And Jeehee. And Nattapong.
But thanks to Denmark’s Law on Personal Names, this crazy stuff can’t happen here. As the International Herald Tribune writes:
In Denmark, a country that embraces rules with the same gusto that Italy defies them, choosing a first and last name for a child is a serious, multitiered affair, governed by law and subject to the approval of the Ministry of Ecclesiastical Affairs and the Ministry of Family and Consumer Affairs…
About 1,100 names are reviewed every year, and 15 percent to 20 percent are rejected, mostly for odd spellings.
At first, I thought this rule was completely crazy. But then I realized it prevents people like George from Seinfeld from naming their kid Seven, and I thought - OK. With 7540 approved boy names and 9869 approved girl names, the good and not-too-weird names should be covered.
Right?
Wrong. My name, Anastasya, is not on the list. Anastasia is. Anastasiya is. But not my spelling. So I end up right up there with Camera and Pilot Inspektor, and I honestly don’t know how to feel about that.
To check if you name is on the list, visit the Approved Names Search page - and then let me know what you think about this naming business.
June 19th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
I’m there! But I think I might change my name to Fritzie - that sounds much better…
June 20th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Besides Maria, I’m also Andreea (this is how I spell it because that’s how is should be, according to me:), and I like this spelling). However, in all official documents my name is spelled as Andreia (long story… and even though over the years I’ve thought of making Andreea official, when I thought of all the stuff that involves, I gave up). In Denmark, everybody spells my name as Andrea:), which is on the list; Andreea and Andreia aren’t.
June 27th, 2008 at 8:19 am
My limited experience with weird names tells me that, although you hate the name as a kid, you begin to like the name as you get older - after all the taunting has died down and you realise that being a little different is a plus in this world. My parents dallied with weird names - but seeing good sense, only as middle names.
I now like my middle name (Lambert) and even my older brother (Tuesday) has begun to appreciate that at least it gets him remembered.
July 8th, 2008 at 9:29 am
I heard that Nicole Kidman has called her daughter Sunday Rose. And she was born on a Monday!
July 29th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Unfortunately, my daughter isn’t the offspring of celebrities, but she does have a name that makes sure she’s remembered - Robyn. Those who hear her name for the first time go through a 3-phase process, a little like a sausage-making machine.
1. Recognise the name from Robin Hood - most Danes have heard of Robin Hood - and get dizzy as the ‘but it’s a girl; but it’s a boy’s name; but it’s a girl’ loop plays itself out in the insides of their shaking heads.
2. Learn that it’s a common girl’s name in Canada and Sweden, where it is often spelt with a ‘y’ instead of the ‘i’, inducing intense eyebrow dancing and further dizziness.
3. (Danes only) Make the first stab at pronouncing the name for themselves, which usually sounds something like ‘gob in’. Nice.
Once you’ve been through the 3-phase Robyn process, you’ll never forget the name. Never. And as a bloke called Chris, I can see the value in that.
One more thing. I call Robyn ‘Bobby,’ which is a natural nickname in England. but nobody gets it here. Danes just don’t go for nicknames - in fact, they won’t allow it. You’re called what you’re called and that’s that. By law.
August 15th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Haha - it’s funny you mention that, Chris. In the dark old days of 2003, my then employee paid me by check. My first check was made out to Dan Elloway, and when I went to pay it in, my Danish bank wouldn’t accept it. The name on the account, they said, was Daniel and not Dan.
I pointed out that Dan is a short form for Daniel, but no dice. I then told them that I could guarantee that there was only one Elloway in the country at that moment (Elloway is a rare surname and none of my family were visiting at that point). But they still wouldn’t accept it. In the end, I had to go back to my employer and get him to write me another check.